Friday, November 25, 2011

I will start off with alot of the things that have been going on in our lives. Finn turned 2! I cannot believe he is already 2. In some ways it just seems like he has always been here but I can still remember being pregnant with him and him being a tiny newborn! We celebrated with lots of presents and a great dinner. I didn't have the energy to put together a birthday party like Romans, but at 2, kids are pretty happy with however you celebrate!

We haven't had many appointments in the last 3 weeks. It's been a nice break. We started buying baby clothes and moved Finn into Romans room. We plan on starting her nursery soon, as soon as I can find a perfect purple paint! The day I cleaned out the room I became very upset and anxious. I know we are supposed to be doing all the normal preparations you do when you are expecting but it just really upset me the thought of her not coming home.

On Wednesday, Sam and I drove down to Seattle for a day full of appointments. First we went to Children's Hospital for a tour. Everything was going great and we were chatting with the genetic counselor. She wanted to show us the ICU and I was totally fine with that. We took about 3 steps in and I almost fell to my knees in tears. I just couldn't be in there. Just being in there was so surreal and knowing our daughter would be in there was overwhelming. We quickly left and after a few moments I was able to finish the tour. We saw where she will do most of her recovery, after ICU. Each patient gets there own room and bathroom, which is nice. We saw different playrooms and resource centers. After the tour, Sam and I went and had lunch and did some Christmas shopping for the boys.

At 2pm, we went to UWMC to their Maternal Infant Care Clinic. First, we had another ultrasound. This took over an hour and I was about to fall asleep during it. The main areas they wanted to see were her ventricles, to see if the fluid on the brain had increased. They had only increased a few millimeters. This sounds good but she will still most likely need a shunt. Next, they wanted to see her growth. She is in the 65th percentile, which is perfect. Next, they wanted to see if her feet were clubbed. At our last ultrasound they weren't clubbed but I read online that can change. Unfortunately, they think they are now slightly turned in. This means additional surgeries on her feet and casts/braces while she is little. But thankfully these surgeries and therapies work and her feet should be fine as she grows older.

We met with a neonatologist. We just talked about pretty much everything we already knew. He said "If I had a grandchild with this, this is the scenario I would want. Her chances of walking are good and with good medical care and therapies, she has the chance for a high quality of life." This is all fine and dandy to hear but I'm not sure how it makes me feel. She still will have many surgeries which have side effects and until she is born, we just don't know. Obviously I am hopeful and know she is gonna be fine but I'm still scared.

We met with a social worker who talked to us about Ronald McDonald house. The place sounds great and we are thankful it's within walking distance of the Childrens. They mentioned we might need to be in there up to 4 weeks. If that happens, after the first 2 weeks the boys will come back from Longview and stay with us. Praying her recovery goes good and we are back home as soon as possible.

Finally we met with a high risk OB. We talked more about my pregnancy and c-section. I'm happy they are going to schedule the c-section at 38 weeks and not 39. Finn was born at 38 weeks and they do not want me to go into labor here so at 38 weeks I will go down, do an amnio, and pray her lungs are ready. There is so much planning going into this and I really hope she will be ready then. With Sam taking time off of work and my parents doing the same to come up and take the boys, I'm praying everything falls into place.

I'm sure I am forgetting a million things we learned that day but we were on information overload! It was also the day before Thanksgiving and we were eager to get home to the boys and the weather was horrible! I started seeing my Bellingham OB every 2 weeks now. We will go back to Seattle the 2nd to last week of January and schedule to c-section and do a tour of their Labor & Delivery. We are also meeting my parents that day to have them take Buckley home with them. It's honestly so sad for me to think about but it makes our "birth day" easier knowing he is there. He will come home with us when we get Stella home from the hospital.

We had a great Thanksgiving at home, just the 4 of us. I got tons of Christmas shopping done today for the boys and all of our Christmas lights for Sam to put up! I think we are getting our tree in a few days, which I am so excited for. I'm frustrated with having horrible back pain all day long. All I can do is pretty much take Tylenol, use heat, and stretch. I had this with the boys but not till the very end of my pregnancies with them. She's just chillin' down in the pelvic bone area pushing on every nerve she can. I try to be a super active momma and keep my kids busy all day but now I have to take breaks every 20-30 minutes to rest.

So if she does come at 38 weeks, she will be born on February 6th, my 27th birthday. I remember when Sam and I celebrated my 20th birthday! I think this will be by far my best birthday with the birth of our 3rd (and final) child. I hope and pray everyday that she will make it through all that she is given and be the light of our lives

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