Monday, October 24, 2011

Romans Birthday Week

After a long and emotional week, we had a lot to celebrate. Roman turned 4! On his birthday we opened gifts and had his favorite food (enchiladas, apple juice and chocolate ice cream). Saturday morning, Sam and the boys went to to Ferndale Comic-Con. The little boys dressed up in their Halloween costumes. They had so much fun! When they got back, we had his birthday party. A lot of delicious food and family/friend time. I think Finn thought it was his birthday too! He loved every gift Roman got!

It was nice to focus our energy on the boys. I feel like I am going over the top on things, to overcompensate for the big changes that are about to happen. I pressure myself to make everything perfect and do everything right for them. I have always done that, but way more ever since the diagnosis for baby Stella. I never for one moment want them to feel less than special. I already have all of our Christmas plans made, even down to what the tree and house lights will look like! I also think it helps take some of the fear and pain away that I feel every moment.

There is always this special place in your heart for your firstborn. Roman made Sam and I parents. He added this new dimension to our lives and marriage when he was born. From the moment he was born, Sam and I have had this unspoken pact that our children would become the most important thing in our lives and we live our lives for them. The day I found I was pregnant, Sam had registered to attend WWU again. We were had only been married for 4 months! I was 22 when he was born. Sam and I had only been married one year. Looking back I realize how young I was when he was born. Yet somehow instantly, the moment he was born, he became first. I also didn't realize till he was born that my purpose in life was to be a mother and wife.

Now, pregnant with our third child, I see more clearly the purpose of my life. Making sure not only Stella, but Roman and Phineas have wonderful lives is what is important. Spending hours laughing with Sam or reading to my kids is whats important. Teaching them to be honest and compassionate and loving people is whats important. Pouring my heart into my marriage, which is the foundation for our home.

October has become this rollar coaster of pure heartache, joy & love & celebration, and getting a glimpse of what our lives will become in a few short months. I hold my husband and kids a little close these days, knowing how very blessed I am to be Sams wife and Roman, Phineas, & Stellas mom.

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